If you’re ready to start a new chapter, now is the time. The following four-step process is intended to help you rewrite the beliefs that make up your current map and spare yourself a lot of stress and unnecessary dead ends.
1. Create a compelling future.
Vision = Power. Anytime you lack clarity about what you truly want, you can end up someplace you don’t much like. Invest time to connect to the biggest and most compelling vision for your life five years from now. Write down what you would be doing, who you’d be doing it with, the value you’d be adding, the emotions you’d be feeling and what people around you would be saying about you.
2. Rewrite your story.
The stories you tell yourself — about what you can and can’t do, about who you are and who you can become — either fuel your ambition and self-belief and spur you into purposeful action, or they hold you back by fuelling fear, blame, doubt, despair, resignation or resentment. What new story would you need to tell yourself in order to manifest your biggest vision?
3. Shelve your “shoulds.”
At the end of life, many people regret that they lived the life others felt they should live, not the one they truly wanted to live. Such is the power of our “shoulds.” Of course we all have “shoulds” — like where we should study, which career we should pursue or how we should raise our kids — but we often don’t realize that they are often a far stronger reflection of other people’s expectations, fears, beliefs and values than our own. If you decided to let go of what you thought you should do and just did what you truly wanted to do, what would you start doing and what would you stop doing?
4. Exit the safe lane.
Fear is wired into our psychological DNA to steer us away from threats and toward comfort and safety. Yet left on autopilot, fear can keep us living in the “safe lane” of life, unwilling to take the very actions needed to build a rich and rewarding life. Fear drives us to overestimate the risks and underestimate our ability to handle them. It’s why we must be vigilant not to focus only on what we could lose if we take a risk, but what we risk losing if we play it safe and stick with the familiarity of the known.
Close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and step into the shoes of you at age 90, looking back on the journey that was your life. Then, tapping your own inner “Braveheart,” ask yourself, if you stay on your current path, what might you one day regret not doing? Where do you need to veer out of the safe lane of life and into the brave lane? What price will you pay if you don’t? Fear regret more than you fear failure. At the end of life, most people regret far more the risks they didn’t take than those they did.
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