How do you keep moving forward in a constructive way when your head is telling you no? A very important element of productive thought is staying focused on contributing rather than looking for the approval or acceptance of others. You show up differently when your only objective is to contribute.
Here are tips for getting your mind right before your next big meeting, event or even a holiday gathering — and for stopping your head from tripping you up:
1. Ask yourself how you can contribute.
You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room or the most experienced to contribute. What do you bring to the party?
2. Think about the problem to solve, not the people.
What problem is to be solved or opportunity to pursue? Keep your mind there. This keeps your energy on the results.
3. Stop seeking approval or validation.
Not everyone will agree with you or love your ideas or suggestions. Don’t expect appreciation for being a contributor — that is what you are supposed to do.
4. Don’t wait to be asked.
Expect that you have a role to play and that you are there for a reason. Don’t give your power away by waiting for someone to prompt you to contribute.
5. Stop the comparisons.
It isn’t helpful to evaluate yourself against others or a situation to how you hoped it would be. Thoughts like, She is so much smarter than me, He is so much more experienced and I’m the youngest person here are self-sabotage and irrelevant. So is hanging on to the thought that I pictured this so much differently. These thoughts get in the way of what you are there to do. Keep your mind set on What can I do? and How can I help? — it’ll keep you focused on what you can influence and what’s in your control.
You are in charge of you. Your actions begin with your thoughts. Get out of your own way and contribute.
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